Proverbs 19:17
"Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward them for what they have done."
You know Jesus was a homeless man. He sure was. He wandered from city to city, from town to town, while in ministry, sleeping in strange places whereever He could find. He and his disciples wandered through these places and asked for food and drink from strangers and for a place to lie at the end of a long day ministering for His father, our God. He was no different in that sense from the people that we see at the homeless shelter and soup kitchen every time we go to volunteer. Well other than the fact that we are mere humans, filled with sin of course, but you know what I mean.
I've been volunteering at the local mission for a little while now. Long enough to start understanding how things work, how people play tricks on you to get more dessert, and how some people are seriously mentally ill, yet still manage to get there to eat. They drink an awful amount of coffee, with loads of sugar usually, and as a matter of fact, just as many of them drink tea. Weird. I'm not sure why I think that's weird; I suppose it may be because I don't like tea so I figured most people didn't either. Who knows. Who cares really.
They come in with all different personalities and little things about them, and after a while you just start to know who's who, and what they're like. You know the mentally challenged ones, the cripples, the one's who's eyes don't point straight, the one's who have a mental state of a young child, the one's that you'd never guess they would use a facility like that. And then there are the ones who abuse substances to make it through life. There are all kinds of different people who need and rely on places like the local soup kitchen and mission services, and people like me who volunteer their time to serve.
But I serve God, and that's why it feels so good and right to be there. I only wish I could be there always. I only wish I could give more. I wish I could give them everything I own. I wish I didn't have to eat so I could hand out twenty-dollar bills or buy them all Big Mac Combos. Imagine. They probably haven't had McDonalds in forever, or if ever for some. But alas, I cannot give everything I have, sadly.
I do from time to time try and buy a little something for someone who touches my heart in some way, or that perhaps might need something. There is one gentleman that has been a long time citizen of our city who I had come into contact with years ago. To see him here was a shock to me. I think he may have been coming here for years, but I wasn't sure, nor did I care. The thing that struck me about this one man, was his ability to be exactly who he was without shame. He's artistic in his dress, very over the top, full of fine looking costume jewellery and black velvet gloves. And he speaks of scripture often, and that is inspiring to me. So I thought how perfect would it be to buy him a little something, anonymously of course. Three crosses filled with sparkles and gems, and a bracelet. Yup. He was sure to love them. Only to find out tonight, that he never received them. He knew nothing of the gift I had left with his name on it.
Well, I suppose that was that. Until I noticed dangling from her neck at the coffee station, a beautiful rhinestone cross. (Yay!) I said nothing. I was confused on how she got it actually. While cleaning the tables, she showed it to me and said that the nightshift guy gave it to her not too long ago. And there you have it. The wonderful crosses I had purchased for someone else were given to entirely different people. That's how God works. He provides me with the means but He looks after the details. I hope she thinks of God when she wears it. And that's good enough for me. She's a real bubbly kind of woman, a real joker she called herself and a true delight to have made her acquaintance tonight. My heart was happy.
And so the night continues. Washing and wiping. Serving and cleaning. Loving every minute of it. They're asking for seconds and I figure we have lots of food and no one is coming in so I'm giving it to them, I just don't have it in me to say no. Until lots of them are asking for seconds and we have to say no now. Uh oh. Now my heart is breaking. I'm just no good at this part. You have to understand that all of the times I've been there, they're all very pleasant and polite, and they're just super hungry. And we have to say no? Ugh. I don't like it. But there is a need for rules and controls otherwise it wouldn't be possible to keep the doors open. So now it's breaking down like this...I've given some people seconds and not others. Not a good idea. People get upset about that, especially because they're hungry, it makes matters worse. So a young lady under the influence asks me for more food for her friend who is still hungry and has had a plate already, and we have to say no. She doesn't like that answer. She continues to ask and becomes more and more heated every time we have to say no to her.
And then she says it.
"God wouldn't say no to me, God doesn't like what you're saying, He would never say that!"
Well it got ugly after that, yelling and cursing, but she had a point I suppose. I felt so bad. If I had money in my pocket I would have given it out tonight for sure. We had food left; I served some people seconds and not others. Perhaps God wouldn't have turned anyone away. I don't think He would have. I think He would have served whom He could.
I wish it could be different. I wish no one went hungry tonight. I wish no one went hungry ever. I wish I could give more. I wish people could see the mercy that lives within my heart, but more so I wish they knew where it came from.
(sigh)
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