My Dearest Mildred

I visited you at the hospice tonight. You didn't recognize me right away. I brought you my bright yellow tulips someone gave me at work to try and cheer up my week. You were delighted.


Mildred, you are so dear to me. Your frail body, skin and bones. Your eyes are of the sheerest of glaciers with tiny pin holes of black.


We spent over an hour chatting tonight. I'm so glad to report that you haven't lost your spunk Mildred. You're feisty under all that charm that's recently surfaced. You know where you are, and when you mention small things like changing places with the dogs that came to visit, I don't think you were entirely joking.


Your time is coming close Mildred. I will miss you dearly. I will miss your wittiness, your curse words (even though its hard to hear), I will miss the little sparkle in your eyes when we talked about shoe shopping. Oh how you loved to buy yourself beautiful things Mildred. You would show me the jeweled shoes and fancy new dresses you would buy yourself in hopes that someone would ask you out for the New Year's Dance.


Will you be ready Mildred?


I wonder what went through your mind as we sat today. You had vanilla ice cream with strawberry topping. You said your son has a strawberry farm in Toronto and that you want to go pick some in August when they're ripe. I don't think you'll make it Mildred. I'm so sorry to say that.


I watched your eyes as you talked and stared every so often outside, with a contemplative look, what I'm assuming is a look of realization of where you are and what this all means. I know you know. Your mind is sharp Mildred. Cancer is just taking over your frail body at this point. You've had to let it win after all. The only thing cancer cannot take is your soul. That is promised to God.


I don't want to say goodbye to you Mildred. I don't want to experience the void at your table. Others are already filling the seat in your absence. I almost wish they wouldn't, but I suppose life goes on for the rest of us. Unfairly it seems.


Please don't let today be the last time I see you. I promised with conviction to come back and see you as you asked me to. I pray to God that I can spend more time with you and bring you some sort of  companionship and give you part of my life to find peace where you are.


Love deep within my heart for you my ole Mildred. xxoo